Chapter 14 – Behavior 11 – Emotional Habits - Righteous or Unrighteous Anger

Vines defines anger as both a verb and a noun. As a verb it means "To get angry, be angry" and refers to the "burning of anger" as in Jonah 4:1. This verb appears 92 times in the bible according to Vines. It also says that the "Causative stem means "To become heated with work" or "with zeal for work"." As a noun it appears 41times. It refers to " anger as that which is "burning". It first appears in Exodus 32:12." Anger is thought to be one of the strongest of all passions.

Joyce talks about righteous versus unrighteous anger. Joyce defined righteous anger as that which is directed towards evil. Think about someone who sins constantly and while you may love them you are angry at them for their destructive behavior. She defies unrighteous anger as that directed towards the inconveniences of life. Anger because we didn't get our way, anger because we were looked over once again for the position we wanted, or anger at ourselves because we feel we will never change and always be fat.

I struggled with unrighteous anger after birth of our twins, the stress of moving and trying to make new friends. I was angry at everything, but especially my husband and kids. My husband took the brunt of it as we moved for his job. We knew it was where God wanted us to be, but that didn't make me any less angry at him. I especially struggled when he was working long hours after he promised it would be less hours than his last position.

During that time a friend recommended a bible study called "She's Gonna Blow" by Julie Ann Barnhill. I started to read it and couldn't believe how out of control my anger was. I wasn't at any of the extremes with anger, but none the less I was angry and needed to change.

As I read i remember thinking I should be thankful for all I have but instead I was miserable because of what I didn't have. I wanted friends like I had in Pittsburgh which takes time to make and energy which I didn't have cause of premie twins and a 2 year old. Also to make friends you have to leave the house which wasn't looked gladly upon by our pediatrician since it was cold and flu season the girls could get really sick.

Julie Barnhill said in that book that some factors that lead to anger are:
1. We need someone to "hear" us
2. We need raw honesty
3. We feel guilty
4. We feel alone
5. We feel overwhelmed
6. We have regrets
Can you relate to any of these? I know during this time I related to every one of these.

In an attempt to make friends I googled online bible study. I found Melissa Taylor's website. I remember thinking this is exactly what I need. God brought me there which has lead me here. 18 months later and I'm a new person. Sometimes I don't even recognize myself. I was on date with my husband last week in a strapless dress I haven't worn for over four years. We were walking and I happened to glance in the building next to us and thought "Wow, look at how beautiful that women is!" And then I realized it was me. I was shocked at this realization.

By dealing with anger I felt better about myself and everything else around which aloud me to focus on my goals. This doesn't mean that I sometimes still not get angry.  I was reading my MOPS email yesterday and it reminded me about the HALT acronym. HALT stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. This acronym is also used in alcohol and drug recovery programs. The point of it is as you start to feel a disagreement beginning with you kids or spouse or those around you HALT and ask yourself if you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired. For me if I'm hungry, lonely, or tired I'm usually angry too. I also have a tendency to eat and not the right things. Try it next time and see if you can come to the crux of your behavior.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to study this book. Please help each of us deal with our anger. Please help us to distinguish between righteous a unrighteous anger. Please help us to HALT when we feel a disagreement starting so that we can be shining lights for you. Please bless each lady this week as they continue their weight loss journey. In Jesus name I pray. amen.