Chapter 17 - The Habit of Discipline - The Safety Zone

The past few weeks, well the past few months have been difficult for us financially. So when I read this section I realized that this is not the zone that I currently live in. I am living dangerously, going from payment to payment from clients. Bills are stacking up, and I don’t think they have ever been caught up since we were both out of work last year….To be honest, I have placed us in a tight, difficult situation…car payments behind, Verizon bill behind, house payment behind…

Foremost, I have felt the money was mine and it was mine to spend. Ok technically I did make the money, but I have contributed nothing to the house bills.  I have also realized that I can spend more than I need too, and I can rationalize each purchase, such as spending $20 here or $30 there. Spending more than I need getting grocery’s even after God has shown me on more than one occasion (several weeks) that I can feed & take care of my family on much less than I think.

God knows our strengths and our weaknesses. Satan knows our strengths and our weaknesses, and he is quick to pounce filling us up with the wrong thoughts, the wrong solutions. He likes to lead us back down the wrong road by telling us to buy this, or the money is all yours!

Its time to seek God to gain control, to become disciplined. Years ago we made the decision that I would hand my paycheck over to the significant other. It was difficult, but I knew I was bad with money. So most of my paycheck from each pay period would go into the bank account of my significant other. It’s time to reach that discipline again, to do what is what is best, and not what I want!!

Self-Discipline can be the hardest thing we can do at times. It goes against what we think we need or what we think we want, only in the end we still feel empty so we reach for more. Self-Discipline takes both strength and faith. We may sail through a day with great discipline, or we may struggle with each and every choice that we make…

Abba,

I pray that you give us the strength, and wisdom to make the right choices and lively abundantly in your safety zone.

Amen

Chapter 17 – Behavior 14 – The Habit of Discipline – Life with Limits / Expectations

I cannot believe that this is my last post for this study. I loved spending the last eighteen week with you ladies reading this book. I hope this book has changed you perspective on the way we form habits. I also hope that our blog posts have given you some great ideas on how to get started forming some of these good habits and breaking some of you bad habits.

This week we have been studying the habit of discipline. Without discipline you cannot expect to make and good habits or break any bad habits. Joyce says that we need to set healthy limits. I once herd of a women who couldn't figure out why she was gaining weight when all she had was carrots to eat for the three days prior. When her doctor asked her how many carrots was she eating she stated ten pounds per day. So you need to be smart about the goals you are setting for yourself. You need to replace you unhealthy habits with healthy ones.

I had a friend who couldn't understand why tonight at dinner she was almost ready to faint. When I asked her how many calories she had that day she told me 900. I asked her what she did that day and she told me an hour long Zumba class, an hour long spin class, an hour long cardio kick boxing class, 30 minutes in the pool and 30 minutes of weight training. I couldn't believer that she was even standing. This was her first day exercising and she went for it all. Needless to say the next day she didn't want to do anything. Start out small. As Joyce said at the beginning o the book we need to have discipline in one area before we can move on to another. Maybe today set you goal for the next 30 days to only eat 1500 calories a day. Then the next 30 days to exercise 3 days a week for 30 minutes. Then work your way up. As each 30 days pass you'll see you previous goal is now a habit and is easy and you've gained the discipline to do it without thinking.  

I know I used to carry around a lot of regret from things I did in my past that I wish I would have had enough discipline not to do. I know God has used these things for my good and used them to make me the person I am today. But today I want to use my body to be the temple that it should be for the Lord. Ephesians 2:10 says we are God's masterpiece. We don't have to do anything. He already sees us as his masterpiece. But I'd love for him to chisel me even more and make me even more beautiful to bring glory to Him.

Bring all your worries and cares to God. He has the strength to help you through anything. Rely on God an he will help you form your healthy habit. Remember to spend your time with God a if we are stagnant Satan will try and come to hurt us.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you so much for this book and he opportunity to blog about this book with these wonderful ladies. I'm so lucky to have friends like these to support me in forming good habits and breaking bad habits. Please chisel each one of us to make us even more beautiful. Please help us to be used for your glory. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.  

Ch 16 - Adding Value to Others Recap

Adding Values to Others

We all need encouragement on our journey through life.  Adding value to others takes the focus off ourselves and causes us to focus on bringing others up.  People should never be used to get what we want.  We easily have in our power the ability to increase the sum total of the world's happiness right now, starting in our own homes and families.  The more we encourage other, the better we feel and the more joy we will have.  Let's start by noticing the good others do and making a big deal out of it. Instead of broadcasting their mistakes, let's cover those fault in mercy.  It will make us all feel better.

God Cares How We Treat People

How we treat people is important to God.  The measure of our love can be seen in how we treat people.  Some small act we consider insignificant may actually change a life.  The world needs encouragers, people that will help others without thinking what is in it for us.  People that will love others and treat them as we wish to be treated.  we need to make people feel as if they matter and are valuable.  Let's ask God to show us who needs encouragement and how we can help.  We can change the world, one person at a time.

Cheering Others On

Our goal should be to imitate Jesus, to treat others as He would treat them.  Life is not a competition.  Everything in life doesn't have to be a competition.  We can encourage others and truly be happy for their successes.  That is real success.

thoughts:

We have been called to add value to the lives of others.  We need to make it our business to sow good things into the lives of others.  In doing so we will add value and joy to our own lives.  

Chapter 16 - Habith 13 - Cheering Others On

As Christians, we are to imitate Christ Jesus.  We are to follow His example so that we may become more like Him.  The bible is full of scripture to encourage us as we walk daily with the Lord.

 

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.  Philippians 2:1-4

 

We cannot imitate Christ and be jealous of our sisters.  We need to encourage one another even when we see them surpassing goals we may have set for ourselves. 

 

I started my weight loss journey by joining Weight Watchers.  I needed the accountability.  Although I wasn't one for counting points, I did learn the importance of tracking the food that went into my mouth as well as the foods to eat and which to only eat on occasion.  I liked the encouragement I received from the leaders & other members who was at the same place in life I was at.

 

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1Thessalonians 5:11

 

Later in my journey, I met Kelley through online bible study and joined this group.  This group is great about encouraging & cheering each other on.   However, it can be hard, when your scale refuses to budge or your weight loss is moving at a snail’s pace and you see one of the other ladies consistently losing weight.  Each week she posts her weight as she is running out the door to run her daily 5 miles while the furthest you can seem to run is to bathroom due to all the water you are consuming now.  Don’t envy your sister but decide to follow her example.  Let her consistency challenge you to do better.  Take a look at what is going on in your life – maybe you haven’t been entirely honest about everything that went into your mouth or maybe you watched your exercise video more than you participated.  It could be you are doing everything right but your body needs a change.  You need to shake things up a little.  Share with the group what is going on and let us encourage you.  That is what is so wonderful about this group – we have all been there.  What works for one might not work for another but you will be able to get advice and find what does work for you.

 

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, ²⁵ not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.  Hebrews 10:24-25

 

Today I challenge you to encourage one another.  Cheer each other on to victory.  Be encouraged and challenge yourself to meet the goals you are striving for.  Set a small goal for this next week and share it.  We need each other and by encouraging others, I guarantee you will be encouraged.  God & His love is good!!   


Father I thank you for my Christian sisters who you have put in my path on this journey to tackle our temples.  I pray for each one today.  May they be encouraged to keep on keeping on.  Help us celebrate each other victories and when we fail, may we find encouragement to help us move on.  Father, please bless each lady here and her family.  May we all strive to walk in the perfect example of Jesus Christ and it is in His mighty name I pray, Amen.

 

One more week of this book – Wow!  I thank you for letting me blog about this book and I thank you for your encouragement & love.  This is such a wonderful group and I am so blessed to be a part of it!!!   See ya here next week!

 

Love, Mel.

Chapter 16 – Behavior 13 – Habits of Adding Values to Others– God Cares About How We Treat People

I remember back in middle school there was a girl who was very unpopular. I had never had a chance to interact with her so I had no clue why everyone treated her so poorly. Then one day as I was walking down the hall I saw her fall to the ground and have a seizure. I remember thinking surly this isn't why people make fun of her. But we all know how cruel middle schoolers are. This is exactly why they made fun of her. She struggled all through middle school and high school. I remember when we all turned 16 and could get our license and she couldn't because of her seizures.

About a year ago I reconnected with this person on Facebook a little over two decades out of middle school. I remember thinking how bad I felt for her then and how much I wanted to be her friend, but didn't know how. She actually thanked me for being her friend and for always talking to her. She thanked me for showing her there were good people in the word, people who cared. What I felt was an insignificant act on my part was actually something that had changed her and made her feel loved.

Joyce talks about how God cares about how we treat people. My oldest's memory verse form church has been:
The man answered, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Luke 10:27)
If you are also part of he "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God" Study you'll notice that Deuteronomy 6:5 is a part of this verse, but I wanted to focus on the last part where it says love your neighbor as yourself (See also Leviticus 19:18).

What would it look like if everyone treated their neighbors how they want to be treated? In today's me society it seems like most people only think about themselves. My husband is a teacher and he is always complaining about the younger generation and how they want everything handed to them on a platter and how they don't want to do certain activities because they cannot see what's in it for me.

In today's society where we can send a letter at a push of a button and it can be sent across the world to be read instantaneously, we can text our spouses and expect an immediate response, we can see others lives on social media, we can watch TV/news on our computers, and we can form relationships online. Who needs to leave their house?

I don't know which product it is for, but there is a commercial that has a lad looking at window displays of block parties.  It says that we should try to make our way back to that type of society. I think the world would look like a different place if we actually loved our neighbor.

So today remember God cares about how we treat people. Maybe you are walking to the bus stop on your way from work and see someone who looks upset and you wave and smile at them, maybe you great the cashier at the grocery store and ask how her day is going, maybe you go introduce yourself to your neighbor and see if they need anything, maybe you choose a employee and spend some time getting to know them a little, or maybe you invite a person who you know is struggling. This week pray to God about a task you can do to love a neighbor and then do it. Let's change the world one person at a time.

Dear God, Thank you that you care how we treat others. My prayer is for you to lay someone on each participant's heart this week that they need to help in some way.  Let them start with something small. I know that by them helping this person you have chosen for them their life will be changed. Please bless them as they help to extend your kingdom here in this broken world. Please help us to change hearts and minds one person at a time. In Jesus name. Amen.

Until next week, Agape, Kara

Behavior 13 - The Habit of Adding Value to Others - Details

Our tongue is one of the most power things we have. Just like the song by Hawk Nelson says ““Words can build you up, Words can break you down, Start a fire in your heart or Put it out.”

What I like about this chapter, it takes the focus off of us. We complain about all of our nere-do-wrongs about ourselves, making us completely self-focused. The problem with that, when we are too focused on ourselves, we tend to neglect others, or we lash out to others.

So here we are again at the cross road, and its time to take the focus off putting ourselves down and time to focus on bringing other people up. I learned a while ago as a mom and woman of our house, my words have quite the power, good and bad. My family tends to go with what I have rolling out of my mouth. When I slowed down and actually listened, realized my own negativity was quite contagious, I started to change my tune as well as others!

·       ·   “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Proverbs 16:24

·        · “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

·         · “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.” Matthew 12:36

·       ·   “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” Proverbs 13:3

Take the focus off of you, and build up someone else, add value to someone who seems to have low self esteem.

“You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciations to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.” – Dale Carnegie

Abba,

I pray that you give us the wisdom to choose words that will build up each other, and not brings us down. I also ask that you open our hearts, our minds, to hear you, and help us to be the encourager to others, as you are with us.

Amen

Chapter 15 - The Confidence Habit - Be Aggressive In Your Approach to Life

                 The Confidence Habit  - Be Aggressive In Your Approach to Life -

             For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.
                                                                  Proverbs 3:26

Joyce tells us to be bold and aggressive, approaching each day with confidence, expecting to be successful I whatever you do.

As a child & teenager, I was very shy. I did not like going new places and meeting new people. I was not very confident. My daddy would always encourage me and would tell me as I faced going somewhere new, to act as if I owned the place. To walk in with my head held high and a smile on my face, like I was somebody. It did help. Then God gave me a confident husband – a man who never meets a stranger and enjoys talking with everyone. Over time, I have become more confident & outgoing as well.

I know that confidence comes from the Lord and my relationship with Him. As I put my faith and trust in Him. When faced with trials, I am learning to lean more on the Lord instead of trying to face them alone. I still get nervous going new places & meeting new people, but I know the Lord is always with me. I know He wants to be a part of every aspect of my life.

Each morning before getting out of bed, we need to ask God for His help to guide us about our day. We need to invite Him in our day and pray that we will recognize His nudges to follow along the path He has provided. We need to open our heart to hear God's voice & to get rid of the lies Satan has whispered in our ears. We need to rid ourselves of the lies others have told us. We are good enough. We are strong enough. We can because our confidence is found in the Lord. We can approach each day knowing that together God & I can do anything. We can approach every situation with confidence because although, we might not own the place, our Father does & He is with us.

Prayer:

Father I thank you that with You nothing is impossible. Help us to reach out to You daily for every detail of our life. Let us be bold & aggressive in our approach to life loving You and showing that love to everyone around us. May Your light shine brightly through each of us. In Jesus name I pray, 

Amen.

Until next week!

Love, Mel

Chapter 15 – Behavior 12 – The Confidence Habit - Prayer and Confidence

I'm excited to talk to you about prayer and confidence today. I was at the summer bible study I was co-leading last month last night. We were discussing how when you are a Christian all your life it is sometimes easier to take God for granted. Sometimes it is hard to turn to God in the mundane tasks of life because you've never really been without God in your life. Those of us that may have found God later in life or maybe were Christians early in life and then came back to Christ after some life changing event occurred sometimes have an easier time imagining God would  answer our prayers even if they seem trivial.

I think despite what our background is at one time in our lives we will struggle with knowing how to pray for something and have the let down when God doesn't answer our prayers the way we expect him to. One of my best examples of this is I have a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer six times in the last five years. She has undergone three gamma knife procedures for brain cancer. She has had a double mastectomy. She has had lymph nodes removed and has undergone countless rounds of radiation and chemo. My prayer is for God to heal her. But this is a double edged sword. I'm asking God to heal her but that doesn't necessarily mean her will let her live. His ultimate plan may be for her to touch many lives and bring many to him just to take her away and give her the ultimate healing in heaven. Some may see this as a let down of their prayer not being answered, but I look at it with confidence that God's will will be done and that God healed her which answered my prayer.

Right off the bat in this section Joye gives us the following verse:

You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father.  Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it! ( John 14:13-14 NLT)

It doesn't give any conditions on what you can ask. As long as you have faith and ask in Jesus's name he will do it. Joyce also reminds us to keep asking. This isn't just a one time God please heal my friend. This is an every evening when I pray to him I ask over and over and over again until he answers my prayer.

As I read this section it reminded me of another scripture:

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead?  Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not!  So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. (Matthew 7:7-11 NLT)

This scripture says keep on asking and then it goes on to say "for everyone who asks, receives." Are you ready to have the confidence that God will answer your prayer? Keep asking in Jesus name and you shall receive.

Dear God,
Please give my sisters in Christ the strength to ask for what they want. Please give them the confidence to know that you will answer their prayers. My prayer is for them to always seek you. Thank you for all the prayers you've answered for this group so far. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

Until next week, Kara