Behavior 12: The Confidence Habit~Inside/Out

Working in the corporate world, confidence is a must. From experience, I know that I must walk into a client's office with an air about me that identifies me as someone who KNOWS her business. I must appear professional and knowledgeable in order to gain the trust of my client.  Some of us may not have the education to back the careers we work every day; however, that lack of  knowledge is not anything the client should be able to gauge just by looking at you or hearing you speak.  We learn quickly to be completely confident in our professional selves; in our work attire.  We learn to carry ourselves in such confidence that even the local Harvard or Yale graduates don't cause us to stir uncomfortably.  This pays my salary, however;  is this the most important part of life?

How many of us waste our lives striving to improve our 'outer' lives without ever paying attention to our inner beings?   We are getting in shape by going to the gym, we buy professional clothes, we prepare dialogue, all of which continues to only build that outside persona.   What about our inner beings? How are we feeling inside as we strive for perfection in the corporate world?  Do you know someone who is just not a happy person yet is making millions along side the likes of Donald Trump?

I know many people that are miserable people. They never find positive in situations, they are always complaining or whining, they just look like they will never be happy regardless of circumstances. And the truth is, they won't.   These people are paying attention to their outer lives and not their inner lives.

Joyce says 'A confident person is at rest in her soul'.  Jesus will give us rest, ease, refreshment, recreation and blessed quiet for our souls. (Matthew 11:29) How incredible is that.   We are told to put no confidence in what we are in the flesh, on outward privileges and advantages, but instead find our confidence in Christ alone. (Philippians 3:3)

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  (Matthew 11:29)

 Last weekend I was able to attend the Proverbs 31 conference, SheSpeaks.  Although we learned about writing and speaking,  heard testimonies, met incredible women of God that were there teaching, the bottom line was and is - we must pick up our cross and carry it,  following Him - whatever the calling. Only then will we be filled with confidence inside and out.  Confidence built by carrying Him within us; by reaching out to Him for all things. We must TRUST in Him, only then will we find the confidence we strive for - Inner and Outer.

Take some time today to evaluate your confidence level. Are you different in your corporate or work world than you are in your personal life?  Do you find yourself keeping the two separate?   Think about why and what changes you may need to make to build both inner and outer confidence in Him.

Prayer:  Father today I lift up each sister here.  I pray that you are working within them, building confidence from the inside out that can be used as they witness and share to multiply your kingdom. May each sweet friend shine and show the aura of your presence within their lives, recognizing this can only come from carrying you within.

In God's Holy Light
<3 Kelley

Behavior 12 The Confident Habit – Make a decision

“Confidence is not a feeling we have; it is a right mind-set.” – Joyce Meyers

It is time for us to make the choice, the choice to be a confident woman of God. Being confident is a cognitive choice that we must make. Confidence is not an automatic response and when ole smutty face is involved, we become self-conscience and confidence goes right out the window.

The Bible tells us:

• ·         “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
• ·         “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:16
• ·         “For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.” Proverbs 3:26
• ·         “Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency if from God.” 2 Corinthians 3:5

Our confidence comes from God himself. He gives us strength, confidence and he is with us. It is his truth in his words that we need to keep in the forefront of our minds. It is so easy for ole smutty face to plant seeds of doubt, self-conscious and place fear. When we wrap ourselves fully in Gods words, God’s truths, we can boldly take that confident step to simply be confident.

Take each decision to be confident, one step at a time. With each choice seek God first, he is your strength!

Abba,

I pray that you continue to work with each of us, giving us ears to hear you and your words. Abba, I ask that you give each of us the strength to make the decision to be confident.

Amen

Behavior 12 - The Confidence Habit - Introduction

Success comes in cans, not in can'ts. (Anonymous)

This weeks chapter comes with a burning question and it's right in the very first sentence!   Can confidence become a habit, or is it something that we must wait to feel?

I don't know about you but I'm either feeling confident or I'm not.  Sometimes something as simple as an outfit can leave me feeling very confident! I walk with my head held high and a certain energy in my step. There is an air about me that no one can touch.  But what happens when I take that outfit off and replace it tomorrow with a different one; one that doesn't make me feel so good or confident?  This confidence is stemming direct from the outfit;. Temporary confidence.  This is confidence stemming from something other than God.

Having confidence is hard.  Almost everywhere you go you will hear conversations about self-confidence.  If you have it, people see it.  It is is like you have a burning aura that outlines your body.  You stand out.  You walk with it, talk with it and there is no mistake, YOU have mastered the art of self- confidence!  But, is this confidence built in the Lord or in  YOU?

God's Word  teaches us that we need to find our confidence in Christ - not in ourselves or in anyone else. If we attempt to gain confidence by reaching out to our Holy Spirit, when we gain that confidence it will last a lifetime. The bible give us scripture after scripture full of promises that everything we need is within Him. 

Joyce gives us 5 scriptures to encourage us as we work on gaining lasting confidence in ourselves.  Those are as follows:

• You are loved perfectly and completely. (I John 4:16-18)
• You are accepted and will never be rejected by Him if you believe (John 3:18)
• You have talents and abilities (Romans 12:6)
• God created you uniquely and you should not compare yourselves with others. (Psalm 139:13-16)
• You can do whatever you need to do through Christ and not be afraid of failing. (Phil 4:14)

All of this is great information; however does knowing these scriptures exist give us that confidence we wish to illuminate from our bodies?  NO,  Joyce reminds us that we have to study The Word, we need to speak and memorize these scriptures.  We need to allow them to soak into our consciousness, to replace the negative, and any doubts.  We need to allow them to renew our minds, to change our attitudes about ourselves. It takes effort and practice.  This will not happen overnight.

We can either believe what we think and what other people say or we can believe God is the best and most reliable choice and do whatever we can to find and build our confidence with Him.

Prayer:  Dear God, please be with each of us this week.  Allow us to focus on renewal so that we can become the teachers God requires so we can spread this good news to others regarding confidence.  We love you. Honor. and Praise you.

Challenge:  Set aside some time in your journal this week to read the above scripture as well as search for additional scripture that you can share with others that need to find self-confidence, or better put - confidence in Him.

Love, Kelley

CHAPTER 15 - POSTPONED 1 WEEK

DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES OUT OF OUR CONTROL, WE WILL BE TAKING A WEEK OFF FROM OUR STUDY OF MAKING GOOD HABITS, BREAKING BAD HABITS BY JOYCE MEYER.

WE WILL RESUME ON MONDAY, JULY 29, 2013, WITH CHAPTER 15, BEHAVIOR 12:  THE CONFIDENCE HABIT.

TAKE THIS TIME TO CATCH UP ON  YOUR STUDY.   KEEP EATING RIGHT & KEEP MOVING......

LOVE YOU LADIES AND LOOK FORWARD TO BEING BACK NEXT WEEK AND FINISHING THE LAST 3 CHAPTERS.  THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT STUDY.

Chapter 14-Emotional Habits-Emotional Wounds

Chapter 14 - Emotional Reactions/Emotional Wounds

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest".  Matthew 11:28

Emotions can be no fun!  In fact for us women - emotions can be troublesome most of the time.  Our emotions drive how we behave.  If we're upset or discouraged we might fly off the handle and wreak havoc on every person in our path.   If we get our feelings hurt or we have a self-inflicted pity party,  woe be the atmosphere in our homes.   We are reacting based on our emotions - and ladies, its sad but nowhere does God come into the picture when this is happening. Chances are He does not even cross our mind.

Joyce tells us we need to develop the habit of  'remaining stable in all circumstances'.  If we allow what other people do, or situations that develop to control our behavior, then we become a 'slave' to our emotions.    We must reach out to our Father - allow Him to guide and direct us in every situation. We need to control our emotions rather than our emotions controlling us. We can't do this alone and must have the help of our Father.  AND.......

Along with emotional reactions, many of us have emotional wounds.  Very painful emotional wounds.

Sometimes it's hard for me to believe that my 'Emotional Wounds' continue to affect me today; however, I'm sure they do.  My scars are deep and they started forming when I was a little girl.  For many years I went from situation to situation - each one equally bad.  For years I took them and pushed them as far back out of my heart and mind as possible.  It was a survival mechanism for me. Even today I choose not to let myself dwell on any area that has the potential to affect me emotionally. I believe that God delivered me - He brought me 'Survival Mode'. It's true we each handle our emotions in different ways.  Unfortunately, as women we are known as 'stress' eaters or maybe 'shop-a-holics' (people who shop/get retail therapy when they are emotional).  Neither is healthy.

WebMD tells us:
 "The types of comfort foods a person is drawn toward varies depending on their mood. People in happy moods tended to prefer foods such as pizza or steak (32%). Sad people reached for ice cream and cookies 39% of the time, and 36% of bored people opened up a bag of potato chips."

I'll be honest, I don't remember to go to God every time a situation affects my life and I feel emotions kicking in. I think to myself - "I can handle this!" -  It's easier for me to bury them quickly before having to deal with additional pain.  I do realize that is NOT the answer.

We have to remember we serve a powerful and amazing God.   He represents healing and restoration. He brings comfort,  He  can deliver us from destructive emotions and free us from bondage.  He brings peace and more than anything - HE LOVE US!  Regardless of what we've done or who we are, He loves us! He is full of mercy and grace and it is ours for free!  In Matthew 11:28 He tells us to give him our burdens and He will give us rest.  We have to make turning to him for all things a priority!  Even when you think those wounds are not be affecting you - chances are somewhere in your world - they are.

Joyce tell us that the first step to freedom is to recognize why we do what we do and be determined that, with God's help, we will not stay in bondage.

Make it a habit to turn to him immediately to avoid undesired emotional reactions.

Thoughts for the day

1)  Take a minute to dig deep and recognize what your emotional habits trigger. Eating, shopping, other.  Then implement a plan to start changing your emotional behavior.

2)  Memorize Matthew 11:28- allow it to be your Go To verse when times get tough.

3)  Remember to take some time through the day to pray over your situation.  Let Go and Let God.

Prayers

Dear God, thank you for your blessings.  Thank you for each other, for the sunshine,  and for the opportunity to share.  Father, allow us to recognize our emotional wounds and help us to take steps to move forward in healthy ways.  We love you, honor, and praise you.  Amen.

Chapter 13-Behavior 10- Living with Margin

Chapter 13 - Behavior 10 - Living with Margin

Declare war on hurry, and stay in the battle until you have detected and defeated every enemy of your peace.  (Joyce Meyer)

 

Living with Margin:  Allocate more time, leave room for the unexpected

This section described me, what about you?   Joyce mentions that 'hurry could be the fruit of procrastination' - that those who wait until the last minute to do things will always be in a hurry.

I am not typically a procrastinator; however, if I am out of my comfort zone or am unsure of how to address a situation, I may procrastinate- waiting until the last minute to do what needs to be done - and then YES, I end up in  Hurry mode.   Once you get into hurry mode, the stage is set for the remainder of the day - maybe the week and it makes for time that is not very pleasant. Rushed does not equal peace.  In fact, it means exactly the opposite.

Unfortunately I am always in Hurry mode.  Not a day goes by that I don't have a million things to do and I never seem to have the ability to slow down and do things in a slower fashion.  I am sure I'm not the lone ranger, but I get that doesn't make it okay.

I don't think that being in a hurry is something that will change in my life without a lot of work; however, there are definitely things that we can work on to help with the hurried ~ not so fun days.  Here are a few of those things.

1)   Start the day with Jesus.  Read His Word, pray, and be still-  allowing yourself an opportunity to hear from Him.  Although we can't audibly hear Jesus speak to us, he does.  Take some time to get right with the Lord each day.

2)  As Joyce advised, allow extra time throughout your day to address areas that are unexpected.  Traffic is always something that tends to give even the calmest drivers road rage.  Plan smart - allocate margin.

3)  Be aware of your 'hurry' habit and take small steps to change it.  Like me, it may take awhile - but maybe, just maybe it can at least get a little better.

Prayer

Dear God, Thank you for giving us time - every day you provide a new day.  Father, may we learn to savor each minute of each day.  May we learn to slow down and take steps to break the hurry habit. May we learn to allocate margin. We love you Father and pray that all we do bring glory to you.  Amen.

Chapter 12 - The Habit of Generosity - Creatures of Habit

The Habit of Generosity - Creatures of Habit

God's timing is impeccable!  Today I'm blogging about us, creatures of habit.  Joyce's philosophy is that if we concentrate on forming good habits, the bad ones won't have any room to operate.  She says that we can form the habit of being a generous person who reaches out to others to make their lives better - THEN, those bad habits will find no place within us.  Sounds easy enough huh!?

Today in church we had an amazing message - and it was simple.  Much of this I'm taking direct from that message.

 'You can't give what you can't possess'. 

So what does this mean?

In Matthew 18:23 it talks about the servant that owed 10,000 'talents' - that is equal to 144,000 years of wages. I'm not sure about you ladies, but I definitely could not begin to pay that back!  It would take me another 144,000 years, at least!  Amazingly enough, out of compassion the debt was marked paid in full. How incredible was that!  Do you remember what happened next?  Yep, that's right.... There was man who owed the servant 100 Denarii  (equal to 100 days of wages - a little over 3 months of wages) - - - - AND, instead of paying forward the compassion shown to him, the servant threw the man in jail.  Why?  Because it is the way he's used to acting - it's all he knows......

This servant did not appreciate the mercy given to him, he didn't get it; therefore, he was unable to give that same mercy to the man that owed him.  Unfortunately, he fell into the same pattern of behavior that he had always known. 

So, yes, we are creatures of habit.  We move through life so fast and furious that most of the time we act before thinking.  We continue making bad choices.  It takes effort to do otherwise.

'Consider the mercy given to you and give away the same measure'

Do you think that once we understand the abundant mercy our Father gives us, every day of our lives, that we will then be able to share that same kind of mercy with others?  That we will be able to pay it forward?  or will we still fall into the same old bad-patterned behavior?    I think that we will be changed people, people that can share goodness with others.

What if we were a people ready to be merciful?  - generous?  - WOW!

A quote from a pastor that was shared this with us this morning is this:

'If you keep shoveling out what God gives you, He keeps on giving......and His shovel is bigger than ours'.

Time to think before we act - think about God's amazing Grace in all we do - and remember to be generous....to pass that mercy and grace forward.  This is what will be life changing!

Thought for the Day

1)  Consider what you have received from God.  Are you even aware?

2)  How will that change how you deal with others?   Will you soon begin changing those bad habits?

Prayer

Dear God,   Thank you for your never-ending mercy and grace in our lives. Father, give us a daily awareness of it and work with us as we learn to pay it forward and share it with others around us. We love you Father and are so thankful for you.  In your name we pray.  Amen.

Prayers and Praises Sunday

HAPPY LORD'S DAY SISTERS!!!  And you know what that means~~~  we get to PRAISE HIM for all the wonderful things HE is doing and lift each other up in prayer!!!    Emotional Habits.......  GOD gave us emotions!!!  Our emotions allow us to feel and experience life; we feel and we connect, we laugh and we also can empathize with others.  Those are all positive emotions, but our other emotions of sadness, fear, shame, anger aren't so positive.  As Lysa TerKeurst says in her book, "Unglued", "Remember GOD gave us emotions so we could experience life, not destroy it."  There is a discipline to our emotions and one that would serve us well to learn!!!

I've been on such an emotional rollercoaster over the last 3 weeks, I can't even being to explain.  One of extreme highs, but also extreme lows.  Weeks where there were days I didn't think I could pull myself out of bed, yet by GOD'S grace and HIS strength, I did.  I've fought going into that dark, deep pit of despair, knowing that GOD IS MY STRENGTH.  I keep reminding myself that even though I can't control my circumstances of life, I CAN control ME!!!  It's okay to be wounded, but it's NOT okay to stay wounded!!!  We all have ugly scars of life, BUT GOD takes our willingness to open up about them, being real rather than plastic and uses them to encourage us as we journey along life. 

I LOVE the promise in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, "Praise be to the GOD and Father of our LORD JESUS CHRIST, the Father of compassion and the GOD of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from GOD.  For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of CHRIST, so also our comfort abounds through CHRIST."

Share your prayer request so we can pray for and with you, but also share the awesome, amazing things GOD is doing in your life!!

In HIM,
Kendra

Chapter 14 Emotional Habits Recap

   Self Pity

self pity - a self indulgent dwelling on one's own sorrows or misfortunes

Bet you never thought of it like that, did you?  I sure didn't!  I use to throw huge pity parties for myself. Not a pretty sight.

How do we stop the pity parties?  First, we need to learn to recognize the problem BEFORE the party gets into full swing.  Secondly we need averse to hold on to, to cling to when the party starts.  Then give it to God/  Let go of the issues, forgive and let it go.  Finally, develop a grateful heart.  Count your blessings.  Thank Him for even the smallest things.  Breathe deeply and look to God.

Control Your Temper

Temper is a symptom - self is the disease

I love that quote.  It hits right at the heart of the matter - self.  We have the choice to control our temper, the decision is ours to make.  Anger is more harmful to us than to those we are angry with.  We know anger isn't good.  It can eat away at our insides and erode our peace.  Yet sometimes we don't want to face the fact that we lose our tempers.  But we can, and should, admit our flaws to God.  Even the emotions we wish we didn't have.  When we spend time with God we can bring our emotions into His light and He will help us deal with them.  Then we can live in peace.

Righteous or Unrighteous Anger

Righteous anger - anger directed toward evil

Unrighteous anger - anger directed towards the inconveniences of life

Unrighteous anger is dangerous.  It happens when we don't get our way, because we can't get or do what we want.  It causes our mouth to work faster than our minds.  It is hurtful to others and ourselves.

When we deal with our unrighteous anger we feel better about ourselves and our circumstances.  We can focus on our goals.  Look for the underlying cause of the anger.  Then address the issue instead of giving into the symptoms.  It doesn't mean we won't ever get angry again but we will be better able to cope with our unrighteous anger.  

thoughts:

Anger robs us.  Self pity enslaves us.  Yet the choice is ours.  We can choose to act in the manner Jesus would or we can react in an emotional manner, allowing our emotions to control us.  God wants us to use wisdom to make decisions instead of letting our emotion guide us.  We cannot walk in the spirit and be led by emotions.  We will always have emotions but we cannot rely on them.  however, we can mange them instead of repeatedly riding the emotional roller coaster.  When we learn to live beyond our  feelings victory is possible.  Live by His Word instead of how you feel.

Father we thank you for free will.  WE thank you that we can choose not to let our emotions control us. instead choosing to live by the wisdom of your Word.  We admit this is not always an easy choice and we need your help, sometimes minute by minute, to make the right choice.  Continue to guide us as we choose to exchange bad habits for good ones.  Increase our strength as we deal with our emotional habits.  Help us as we grow into the women you created us to be  In Jesus name we pray, amen.  So be it!

Chapter 14 – Behavior 11 – Emotional Habits - Righteous or Unrighteous Anger

Vines defines anger as both a verb and a noun. As a verb it means "To get angry, be angry" and refers to the "burning of anger" as in Jonah 4:1. This verb appears 92 times in the bible according to Vines. It also says that the "Causative stem means "To become heated with work" or "with zeal for work"." As a noun it appears 41times. It refers to " anger as that which is "burning". It first appears in Exodus 32:12." Anger is thought to be one of the strongest of all passions.

Joyce talks about righteous versus unrighteous anger. Joyce defined righteous anger as that which is directed towards evil. Think about someone who sins constantly and while you may love them you are angry at them for their destructive behavior. She defies unrighteous anger as that directed towards the inconveniences of life. Anger because we didn't get our way, anger because we were looked over once again for the position we wanted, or anger at ourselves because we feel we will never change and always be fat.

I struggled with unrighteous anger after birth of our twins, the stress of moving and trying to make new friends. I was angry at everything, but especially my husband and kids. My husband took the brunt of it as we moved for his job. We knew it was where God wanted us to be, but that didn't make me any less angry at him. I especially struggled when he was working long hours after he promised it would be less hours than his last position.

During that time a friend recommended a bible study called "She's Gonna Blow" by Julie Ann Barnhill. I started to read it and couldn't believe how out of control my anger was. I wasn't at any of the extremes with anger, but none the less I was angry and needed to change.

As I read i remember thinking I should be thankful for all I have but instead I was miserable because of what I didn't have. I wanted friends like I had in Pittsburgh which takes time to make and energy which I didn't have cause of premie twins and a 2 year old. Also to make friends you have to leave the house which wasn't looked gladly upon by our pediatrician since it was cold and flu season the girls could get really sick.

Julie Barnhill said in that book that some factors that lead to anger are:
1. We need someone to "hear" us
2. We need raw honesty
3. We feel guilty
4. We feel alone
5. We feel overwhelmed
6. We have regrets
Can you relate to any of these? I know during this time I related to every one of these.

In an attempt to make friends I googled online bible study. I found Melissa Taylor's website. I remember thinking this is exactly what I need. God brought me there which has lead me here. 18 months later and I'm a new person. Sometimes I don't even recognize myself. I was on date with my husband last week in a strapless dress I haven't worn for over four years. We were walking and I happened to glance in the building next to us and thought "Wow, look at how beautiful that women is!" And then I realized it was me. I was shocked at this realization.

By dealing with anger I felt better about myself and everything else around which aloud me to focus on my goals. This doesn't mean that I sometimes still not get angry.  I was reading my MOPS email yesterday and it reminded me about the HALT acronym. HALT stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. This acronym is also used in alcohol and drug recovery programs. The point of it is as you start to feel a disagreement beginning with you kids or spouse or those around you HALT and ask yourself if you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired. For me if I'm hungry, lonely, or tired I'm usually angry too. I also have a tendency to eat and not the right things. Try it next time and see if you can come to the crux of your behavior.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to study this book. Please help each of us deal with our anger. Please help us to distinguish between righteous a unrighteous anger. Please help us to HALT when we feel a disagreement starting so that we can be shining lights for you. Please bless each lady this week as they continue their weight loss journey. In Jesus name I pray. amen.

Chapter 14 – Behavior 11 – Emotional Habits - Control Your Temper

Temper is a symptom – self is the disease.

We live in an imperfect world with constant demands and great expectations.  In this crazy thing we call life, it is easy to become angry & lose our peace.  Joyce tells us we can develop the habit of staying peaceful.  We are in control of our temper – it is our choice to make.

I have told you before how God is amazing me by tying together this study with other things I ready.   One of my favorite daily reads is Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  Yesterday, the topic was self pity.  Today’s message was “Come away with me for a while.  The world with it’s non-stop demands can be put on hold.”  On July 19, it says “Bring me all your feelings, even the ones you wish you didn’t have”.  It goes on to say that feelings per se are not sinful, but they can be temptations to sin.

I am not an angry person but when stressed and the demands of life overwhelm me, it is easy for me to lose my temper.   By spending time daily with God, we can bring our emotions into His light where He will be help us deal with them.   Spending time with God should be our highest priority and our deepest joy.

Today as you struggle to hold your temper, stop, count to 10 and breathe deeply.  Call out to God for his help.  Learning to live in peace is not only good for those around you but also for your health. 

The following health problems can result from unmanaged anger:

• Headaches
• Digestive issues
• Insomnia
• Increased anxiety
• Depression
• Skin Issues
• Heart Attack
• Stroke

If stress is causing you to experience anger or is making "controlling your temper" harder to do, first take it to God but also try adding exercise to your daily routine.  Regular exercise can improve the mood and reduce stress levels.

Father, your love for us is amazing.  I thank you for Your word which is a light for our path in our daily lives.  Father may we spend time daily with you and meditating on the bible.  We know that our words can do so much harm.  Help us to control our temper.  You have called us to love one another as you love us.  Help us to do just that by following the perfect example of Jesus Christ.  I thank you for this study and for this group of women.  Please bless each of their homes this week.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Until next week!

Lots of love,

Melanie

Chapter 14 Behavior 11 - Emotional Habits - Self Pity

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines self-pity as: “pity for oneself; especially: a self-indulgent dwelling on one's own sorrows or misfortunes”

We all have gotten to this point, we have sunk down to the level of simply feeling sorry for ourselves. A bad day, bad month, or even bad year(s). Micah 7:1-2: “Woe is me! I am like the one who gathers summer fruit, when the vines have been gleaned There is no cluster to eat, no early fig that I crave. The faithful have vanished from the earth, no mortal is just! They all lie in wait to shed blood, each one ensnares the other.” Oh woe is me!

Self-Pity is another bad habit. It can lead to depression, lead to feeling defeated, lead to feelings of worthless ness and despair. It is a habit that the devil likes and dances on the sidelines cheering us as we go down this road. It’s a habit that takes our focus away from God, leaving us questioning if God is really there. Psalm 13:1 “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hind your face from me?”

For years I lived with the self-pity attitude. My first husband was addicted to porn, and verbally abusive. Through-out my marriage and years after we have separated I carried that self-pity burden. Woe is me, I lived with that. Woe is me, I have low self-esteem. Woe is me, I am not good enough. The list can go on and on…   

What do we do? What can we do? We can look to God.

1. Learn to recognize when we are beginning to sink into self-pity
2. Find a verse in the bible that shows you the promise of God’s word.

-      Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

-      Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

1. Give it to God. Let go of the anger, the hurt feelings, and simply forgive and let go.
2. Start to have a grateful heart. Begin to look for things to thank God for, even the smallest of things.

The next time you start down the path of self-pity, stop, look to God and breathe knowing He is God.

Abba,

I just want to thank you for Your love and for all you do for us. Lord I ask that you teach us to open our hearts to you, allowing us to come to you when self-pity tries to take hold. Abba, I ask that you give each of us discernment, wisdom and guidance to know when self-pity is begin to enter our minds, and show us your all-consuming love so that we can let self-pity go and not allow it to take root.

Amen

Praises and Prayers Sunday

HAPPY LORD'S DAY SISTERS!!!  It's our Prayers and Praises Day!!!  GOD'S perfect timing!!!  I don't know about you, but this chapter spoke to my heart is HUGE ways!!!  I am learning SO much in the midst of a major life event; one that GOD just continues to say, "Trust ME, wait for ME, MY timing is perfect!!"  I'm SUCH an impatient person, I think I know what's best for me.  I've been praying a prayer now for almost 7 years and at so many times thought GOD wasn't hearing, that HE wasn't listening, convinced that this prayer would never come to fruition.  Are you in a waiting place??  Are you thinking those same thoughts I've had over these last 6-3/4 years??  Are you desperately waiting for GOD to answer a prayer!!!  Sisters, I'm here to tell you, "DON'T give up!!" 

Psalm 37:4 reminds us, 'Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.'  Wow! What an amazing promise. If you delight yourself in God HE will give you what you want, that is the desires of your heart. Don't get me wrong, He isn't going to start giving you the best cars, the nicest house and lots of material things, because God isn't concerned with those things. He wants you to 'delight' in Him, ie. to seek Him and to love Him and spend time with Him in prayer and Bible study. If you are seeking after God in this way, the desires you'll have will be to serve HIM and to always live according to what the Bible says.  During this waiting period, immerse yourself in HIM, seek HIM with your whole heart, focus on changing yourself, not on the things you can't control.   David goes on in Psalm 37, "'Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.' (NIV).

These past 2 weeks have in many ways been the most painful weeks of my entire life, yet I committed this storm to GOD, as hard as it's been, I've truly been thanking HIM for this, trying my hardest to look at this as a blessing instead of a disaster.  Every time the enemy tried to convince me otherwise, I kept drawing on HIS promises.  'But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.' (Isaiah 40:31) (NKJV).

Wait on the Lord. Be patient. Trust in God's perfect timing and he will answer you. Then you will hear him directing you.  As much as I've wanted to take this situation in my own control, the HOLY SPIRIT kept reminding me of that promise in Isaiah!!!

One of my new favorite promises comes from Habakkuk 2:3 'For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.'

Sisters, if you're waiting on GOD to answer a prayer, take heart!!!  Be patient, wait on HIM and HIS perfect timing.  HE IS FAITHFUL!!!  Today, I am humbled beyond any words I could possibly say at how HE is working, at the miracles that HE is performing!!!

Share your prayer requests and your praises so we can pray with and for you and also thank HIM for all HE'S doing in your lives!!!

BE BLESSED IN HIM,
Kendra

 

Ch 13 The Hurry Habit - Recap

The Hurry Habit

A double minded man is unstable in all his ways - James 1:8

Did you ever think being in a hurry makes you unstable? Rushing around, mind flitting from one thing to the next, unfocused, worrying about being late?  Doesn't sound stable, does it?  The hurry habit makes us anxious and stresses us out.  There are no benefits to the hurry habit.  So, why on earth would we want to put ourselves through that?  Especially when we can put our trust in The Lord, who is never late and never hurries. Trusting in His perfect will for our time, our schedules, our lives brings calm and His peace to us even in the most tumultuous times.

Is God in a Hurry?/Set an Overload Alarm

Never be in a hurry, do everything quietly and in a calm spirit - St Francis de Sales

Are we settling for something less than God's perfect will for our lives simply because we are in a hurry?  Do we fully enjoy God's daily blessings in our lives? Or do we miss them because we are bouncing from one thing to the next, trying to check off our To-Do list?  Our focus needs to be adjusted, our priorities reset.  If our focus is on God, He will help us remain calm and stable, allowing us to be more observant of the delights He has in store for us.

How?  How do we keep ourselves from losing focus, from becoming overloaded? We start by slowing down, by spending time each day in silence and solitude deliberately seeking God's presence, by stopping to smell the roses and recognizing the lavish love He pours out on us each day.  God loves to delight us, yet so often we hurry past things intended to make us smile & feel loved. We need to take time to think about how we are living our "dash"

The Benefits of Hurrying

There is more to life than increasing it's speed - Gandhi

To me, that title is an oxymoron.  What do we really gain from hurrying?  We think hurrying helps us get more done, gives us more time to do more things.  Maybe it does.  But, how well are we doing them? Hurrying also decreases our time with our loved ones and what time we do spend with them probably isn't as enjoyable as it could be because we are already hurrying on to the next thing.  We lose more than we gain.  What we gain - Anxiety, impatience, irritation and stress - is really not that beneficial at all.

Get Started Right

Joyce tells us that if we started our day right, the rest of the day will go better.  What is the "right" way? Spending quiet time alone with God.  Asking for His help, His presence in our day.  Breathe deeply and reminded yourself , with God's help "I will not hurry today". Do this each time you feel harried or rushed.  The God habit is the basis for forming all other good habits.  Don't hurrying your way out of His blessings.  Don't allow hurry to steal your joy or your peace.

thoughts:

I really thought I was going to get through this chapter without getting my toes stepped on.  Wrong!  I hate to hurry.  I hate to feel rushed.  Just the word hurry makes me feel anxious. I do what I can to avoid hurrying.  So I was feeling pretty good about this chapter..UNTIL...I read the getting started right blog.  I have daily quiet time with God each weekday morning for at least 15 minutes so I thought I had this aced too.  Until I read "What is the first thing we are likely to hurry through?  That's right, our time with God."  Uh oh - OUCH!  That's the one thing we shouldn't rush.  I try not to, but if I'm tired, running a bit behind or trying to log into work - you get the picture.  When I should be giving God my undivided attention, a million other things are vying for my attention.  When I feel rushed, God doesn't get my best.  And I REALLY need that time with Him!  It requires discipline and sometimes I get slack with it.  I also need to be more consistent with my quiet time on the weekends.  Sometimes it is nonexistent on the weekend. I was looking for pictures to add when I came across the quote above.. Ouch again!  I care about my quiet time and my relationship with God.  But, to God it must seem like I am hurrying on to other things.  And that is unacceptable, it is not what I intended.  So, OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!

Father, please forgive us when we hurry, especially when we hurry in our time with You.  Help us put the God habit first then slow down & enjoy our time with You.  When we slow down, we can appreciate the delights You set in our paths each day.  Trusting in Your perfect timing for our lives allows us to remain calm and at peace. Remind us there is nothing good to gain from hurrying.  Show us how to eliminate the hurry habit from our lives.  Thank you for helping us form good habits.  Thank you for Your love and patience as we work with You to become all You desire us to be.  In Jesus name, Amen  So be it!

Chapter 13 – Behavior 10 – The Hurry Habit - Get Started Right

So what does Joyce mean by Getting started right? She means that everyday we need to start our day right.  How do we do that? By spending time with God.

Everyone's devotional/quiet time may look a little different. I recently had the privilege of inviting the Women's Ministry director of my old church in Pittsburgh to my new church in Erie for our MOPS retreat. The subject we asked her to speak  on was quiet time. She really gave me a new perspective and I'd like to share it with you now.

First thing I like to say is when we hurry what is the first thing we are likely to hurry through? That's right our time with God. Please take time each day to lay your cares at the foot of the cross. Your perspective will be so much better for the rest of the day. Trials will seem less horrific when your eyes were already focused on God that day. It is easier to turn to someone you know in both good times a bad.

Here is the method that we were told to try for quiet time at my MOPS retreat. Pick a verse. Sometimes you pray for a specific need and God may give you a verse. Other times you may want to study a particular word like love and may be using a concordance to look up verses with love in them. Other times you may be reading straight though the Bible and are in a particular section. Other times you may be working out of a devotional or bible study book with specific verses for the day. Either way you should ask the following things:
1. What attributes of God does this verse give me?
2. What is God's will for me?
3. What is my daily need?
4. Forgive me for...

Here is an example.
Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12 NIV
Attributes of God - Teacher, Wisdom, Eternal
His will for me - To be aware of the now/present
Daily need - To enjoy today and not worry about tomorrow
Forgive me for - not enjoying today

Another wise lady told me to keep a post it note next to me while I did my quiet time. When you think I need to change the laundry loads, write it down and go back to your quiet time. Don't get up and do it. Give God your undivided attention.

Another thing that I was taught that will help in bringing us closer to God is to try one act of discipleship each week. This goes back to the Generous Habit we learned last week. Call a friend who may need to hear a friendly voice. Take someone a meal. Send someone a card. Invite a neighbor over for dinner.

Lastly, let's hold each other accountable. Find an accountability partner who will not only ask about your food and exercise habits, but will also ask about your God habit.

So here is my goal for you this week. Spend at least five minutes each morning with God in quiet time. Slowly increase as you are comfortable. Remember it takes 21days to make a habit. Complete at least one act of discipleship the week. Report back what you did and how your quiet to went. Also report how life went on the days that you fully committed to your quiet time.

Dear God,
Thank you that we have the privilege to be your friend and daughter. Thank you that you created each one of us and brought us to this study. Thank you that we get to be surrounded by incredible women who each want one thing, to lose weight. Please help each one of us to make our quiet time a priority this week. Phase help each women to find verses that she needs for her particular struggle this week. Please open each woman's eyes to an act of discipleship they can do this week. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Until next week. Agape, Kara

Chapter 11- People in the Bible Who Made Excuses

People in the Bible Who Make Excuses

EXCUSES!   I'm QUEEN of Excuses - it could very well be my middle name! However, I'm sure you NEVER [sarcasm] make excuses!  Sorry ladies, we all do it!  It seems to be the American way! ...AND,  we all know that this little trend did not just start, it has been going on for a long, long time ~ even back to those that are written about in the bible.  Joyce talks about a few of those in this chapter.  Moses and Peter are two of them .....but those are not the only ones I can think of ~ the number is many - starting back with Adam and Eve.

Let's look at the definition of excuse again:

       An explanation offered to justify or obtain forgiveness.

Let's be honest - if I am providing an excuse, it's most likely for justification.  Not to mention I'm probably attempting to convince myself that it's truly justified.   Somehow it's easier to make an excuse if we can put some high quality reasoning behind it! Don't you agree?  The issue with this is, we are so good at it, we do it so often, and it becomes second nature - - - we believe it.

In Exodus 4 God was sending Moses into Egypt to bring the Israelite's out. Moses must have found this a very difficult task~because immediately the excuses started...."I'm not eloquent enough", "I speak slow and have a slow tongue".  So who is Moses trying to convince?  GOD?   God knew Moses better than Moses knew himself - He gave Moses the gift of speech - he certainly knew his abilities.....but this did not stop Moses from trying to use these excuses to get out of this job God had planned out for Him. He didn't think he could do it and didn't even want to try so the excuses ran like water, easily flowing from the mouth of Moses.

We are all believers ~ we like to think of ourselves as servants of God, yet we continue to go through life making excuses in those areas that we find tough, that take us out of our comfort zone - or that involve activities that we just don't want to do.  What are your excuses?  Are those excuses keeping you from doing what's right and what you should be doing?  Can you relate to the people of the bible who made excuses?  

Are your excuses keeping you from reaching goals that you think you will never reach?  Are they keeping you from doing those things that will glorify our Heavenly Father?  The following cartoon says it best:

It's just that simple!   If we want to find results  - we have to give up the excuses!  We have to stop imposing our own roadblocks - we have to stop trying to justify excuses and take them for what they are.  We need to take responsibility for our actions and take the steps necessary to overcome our roadblocks.  We have to stop acting like Moses!  or Adam and Eve, or Peter  ~

Thoughts for Today

Who in the bible can you relate to that makes excuses?

Read Exodus 4 as Moses gives God excuses.   Who else in the bible used excuses?

Take Away Assignment

Carry a small pocket pad with you for a few days.  Every time you hear an excuse - yours or someone else's - jot it down and write what hearing that excuse made you feel.

NOW, take on the responsibility of changing you negative excuses into positive forward steps!


Dear God,
Thank you for your many blessings!  - for The Word.  May it's continued teaching be used in every area of our lives.  May we take responsibility for our excuses and through you turn them around in ways that will only glorify you.  We love you.  Amen

Chapter 13 Behavior 10 - The Hurry Habit - The Benefits of Hurrying

The Benefits of Hurrying

Are there really any benefits of hurrying? Personally I cannot think of one benefit of hurrying to get things done nor could Joyce in this chapter.

God has been working with me on this “hurry habit” for almost a year now. Probably in the last 6 months He has pointed out some areas where I seemed to always been in a hurry. My hurry habit has caused me to rush though work, and has caused some pretty big and pretty stupid mistakes.

So we add to our schedule, then we hurry to get more and more accomplished, and it’s never ending. We do more and more, and have less time with our significant others, our kids, grandkids, our families. We lose precious memories, precious time when we become occupied with hurrying up. We gain irritation, we become impatient… 

Slow down and just simply be. Slow down and just enjoy the moments.

Abba,

Thank you for being our loving forgiving father. Lord I pray that you will open our eyes and our hearts. Teach us to simply slow down, and enjoy the moments.

Amen

Chapter 13 - Behavior 10 - The Hurry Habit: Is God in a Hurry?/Set an Overload Alarm

“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.  Do not loses your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if you whole world seems upset.”  St. Francis de Sales

So many times, honestly way more than I choose to count, I have said “I am tired of always being tired!”  Now I understand that sometimes health problems could be making you tired.  Sometimes my unhealthy eating habits & lack of exercise have caused me to be tired but most of the time it is because I have been caught in the Hurry Habit.

When I started this blog post, I did a search for devotions on hurry and found two really good ones really quickly. 

“Hurry is a Thief” – Living Free – April 28, 2011 – www.Crosswalk.com

Hurry is a Heart Condition by Glynnis Whitwer – Daily Devotion for 12/31/12 – www.proverbs31.org

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)

We often are so busy, so distracted and so preoccupied that we tend to settle for something less than the authentic Christian life.   When we hurry through life, bouncing from here to there, we never fully enjoy the things and more importantly the people around us.  We are abundantly blessed but when is the last time you took the time to “Stop and smell the roses” ?!?!  

As Joyce reminds us, if you and I want to break the hurry habit, we will have to make changes in our lifestyle & mind-set.  We need to adjust our focus.  Joyce tells us to focus on staying peaceful and patient  and hurry will eventually be a thing of the past.

When need to protect our peace by refusing to overload our schedule, Joyce tells us to set an overload alarm.

In the “Hurry is a Thief” blog, it gives 4 S’s to help slow down the pace and develop a lingering heart.  I want to share them with you now along with scriptures that came to mind.

Slow Down – God is not in a hurry.  Why are you?  Slow down.   This made me think about  Mary & Martha. 

The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.”  Luke 10:41-42 (MSG)

Silence -  Take time to be still and experience God’s presence.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;  I will be exalted among the nations,  I will be exalted in the earth.”  Psalm 46:10  (NIV)

Solitude -  Follow Jesus’s example and set aside regular “alone” time for yourself.

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.  Mark 1:35 (NIV)

Sabbath – God has provided a day of rest – Enjoy it!

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. ³ Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done. Genesis 2:2-3 (NIV)

In Glynnis Whitwer’s devotion, she reminds us that hurry is a heart condition. The one paragraph that summed it up for me was this:   “I didn’t want to be a woman who rushed through life.  I did not want my children to look back and say “Wow, Mom got a lot done!”  I wanted them to be convinced thoroughly and utterly, of my love for them.  And not just my children but my husband, parents, sisters and so on.”  

This made me think of the Live Your Dash poem by Linda Ellis.  I am sure you have all seen it but I going to share it with you again now as I think it puts the Hurry Habit into perspective.

The Dash
by Linda Ellis copyright 1996

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone,
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?

So as I read about the Hurry Habit, I have to ask myself a serious question, how am I living my dash?   Do  I need to listen to my overload alarm and say no to some things that are disrupting my peace?

Please pray with me:

Father God, I thank you that your timing is perfect.  You are never in hurry.  You always have time for us.   Help us Father to take your example and strive for peace in our busy lives.  Let us take time to enjoy the blessings you have bestowed upon us and  to give thanks to You for every one of them.  Father I ask for your special blessing on each woman and her family.  Give them your peace today.  In Jesus name, Amen.

As you work on tackling your temple, take time today to stop and smell the roses.  Take time for yourself today.  Ask God to show you areas of your life where you need to slow down. 

Until next week,
Mel

CHAPTER 13 Behavior 10: The Hurry Habit

Finally!! I do not feel like my toes are being stepped on. I do like to be punctual but I manage my time  to the point to where being in a hurry  is never an issue. (Well sometimes with the kids being slow) So, hurrying is not an issue in reference to appointments and meetings.  I am also very tuned into my personality were this is concerned  so I do not over load my schedule where I am constantly in a panicked,uptight,hurried state to get some where on time.

I  can not imagine what that feels like to  constantly be hurrying that must be extremely stressful and exhausting.

Joyce makes a good point how God is not in a hurry!  He is never late but certainly not in a hurry!

She references nature taking its time  to accomplish the tasks that God has given it.  Even nature does not hurry! I myself enjoy sitting outside in the  solitude of nature. 

My Spirit does not even enjoy being around someone that is constantly rushing about, I can feel myself getting anxious.

I think we do better when we take our time and do not make snap decisions.  I have been fighting panic for about a week now with my husband's circumstances.  I have been fighting thoughts of hurry up and do something ! Even though I know he has been doing all that he can! It is God hand's.

What if I went the through  with the thought of selling my stuff so people on the street  do not get it. That  decision does not need  not be made at least not at this point! Lord willing  it will not be needed!   If I listened to that voice in my head in the panic, hurried and fearful state were would I  find myself.   I would have put myself in a more needful place with out necessity! Because I was in a hurry and did not patiently wait on God to work on my behalf.

This is the scripture that has been playing in my head: The double minded man is unstable in all his ways, let not that man think he will receive anything from me!

Scripture Focus:

James 1:7-8

King James Version (KJV)

7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.

8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

 
Do you think an unstable man (woman) is one who is always hurrying about? Food for thought?

 

Ways We Can Be in a Hurry!

With Time, (Time Management)

With Meetings(Time Management)

Arriving at Places, (Time Management)

In Traffic, (lack of Patience). (Time Management)

Waiting on God, (lack of Patience), (lack of Trust)

With our Children, (lack of Patience)possibly (Time Management)

Joyce Meyers-

"Good habits drive out bad ones; therefore, focus on staying peaceful and patient and hurry will eventually be a thing of the past."

Prayer:

Lord let us rest in your Holy Spirit, Lord we want to Trust in everything especially with your timing. When we hurry about in our lives we are not at rest. Let us trust that if we say no to something or if we lay something down and clear out our schedules, that we will be okay for doing it. If we need to adjust our alarms so we get up earlier to have more time therefore calming our day then give us the self-discipline to do it! Most of all left us quit our spirit while we wait on you to have your perfect will in our lives and let us not hurry you! For when we do we miss out on your best for our lives!

In Jesus Name Amen!