Ch 11 The Habit Of Being Responsible Recap

The Habit of Being Responsible

OK, how many of you are ready to yell"Stop Stepping On My Toes!'? Thought you were reasonably responsible until you read this chapter?  Now realize you still have work to do?  Are excuses holding you back?  Keeping you from being the person God intended you to be?  Me too!

Responsibility is a habit we need to take seriously.  It shows what kind of person we are.  What we do with our time is our choice.  We do what we really want to do.  It is time to deal with our excuses and form a habit of being responsible.

Integrity

Integrity can be defined as "doing the same as what you say".That is what God expects us to do, to keep our word.  Integrity is vitally important.  We cannot be an excellent person without integrity.  People with integrity take responsibility for their actions.  They do the right thing even when no one is looking.

Traits of a Responsible Person

A responsible person

...can be counted on

...is dependable

...thinks ahead & prepares for the future

...works hard

...is a good steward

...spends time with God

If we make God our #1 priority everything else will fall into place.  Be a "Can Do"kid of the one true King.  It doesn't matter how many opportunities God gives us if we aren't responsible enough to do what need to be done to take advantage of them.  We must stop seeing responsibilities as options.  Responsibility is not optional to God.

5 Steps to Stop Making Excuses

1. Face the truth - State it out loud

2. No unrealistic expectations - Can you follow through?

3. Stop complaining - It keeps you from making progress

4. Be aggressive - Don't procrastinate!

5. Find a solution to obstacles - Be creative

Which one gives you the most problems?  Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you recognize and conquer whatever it is that keeps you from be responsible.

No Excuses, Just Results

Excuses are not acceptable to God and they shouldn't be to us either.  When we make excuses, we give up the power to change.  Being truthful requires commitment and practice.  But, truth is a very powerful weapon.  Squarely facing the truth helps us become the responsible person we desire to be.

thoughts:

For we are responsible for our own conduct - Galatians 6:5

Have you ever thought about that?  God says we are responsible for our own conduct.  No one can do our work for us, no one can make our decisions for us.  We cannot shirk our responsibilities by making excuses.  That just won't cut it.  One day we will have to give an account to God.  We need to carefully and soberly consider our actions or lack there of.  Are we honoring our commitments?  Are we keeping our word?  Are we acting in a responsible manner?  Be responsible means being intentional.  It takes courage to face the truth,  be responsible, to operate with integrity.  It requires commitment.  Are we committed to be responsible?

Heavenly Father,

It is our desire to be responsible, to be the person you intended us to be.  When we stand before You on the day of judgment, we want to be able to answer that yes, we have been responsible.  Help us recognize the areas in which we struggle and strengthen us as we practice being responsible so that we may bring You honor and Glory.  In Jesus name we ask this, Amen

Chapter 11 - No Excuses, Just Results

When I was in school we made a parody from an old quote.  "If at first you don't succeed, BLAME SOMEONE!" It was all in good fun, a joke to my friends and I.  We knew we were expected to take responsibility for our own actions.  Excuses were not acceptable to our parents or our teachers.  They are not acceptable to God either.  Sometimes it is really tempting to listen to satan as he whispers excuses in our ears.  It would be so much easier if we did.

However, when we make excuses or "blame someone", we give up our power to change.  We must believe and practice meeting our responsibilities and being truthful.  If we want results, we must "train" like we do.  It requires Commitment.  Either you are committed to being responsible or you aren't, there is no in-between.

Joyce tells us that when we squarely face the truth, the truth will help us become the responsible person we desire to be.  Truth is a powerful weapon when we train ourselves to use it.  Doesn't mean it will come easy for us, nothing worthwhile every does, but becoming the person God created us to be will be more than worth the effort.


Father,
We know how easy it is to make excuses for our behavior.  Satan is the father of lies and he loves whispering lies & excuses into our lives.  When we are tempted to make excuses, to shirk our responsibility, call us out on it.  Remind us to face the truth.  We can become the responsible person we long to be with Your help.  Help us make that commitment to You today.  In Your Heavenly name we pray, Amen. So Be It!

Chapter 11; Behavior 8 - The Habit of Being Responsible

Five Steps to Stop Making Excuses

Have I told ya lately that I love this study and I am so thankful to be a part of it with such a great group.    I am excited.  I see God working and He keeps speaking to me by tying together the things I read here with my other studies and even with the sermons at church.    God is amazing & He desires us to have amazing, full lives.   He has brought us together for that very reason. 

Now, I will 100% agree with LeAnn that there has been some serious toe stopping going on and some of it has been hard, but then again, no one said it would be easy.  I think I’d be really leary of any bible study that claimed it was going to be easy.  :)

Excuses, excuses, excuses…….we go to stop making them.   Joyce gives us 5 steps to stop making excuses which Kara mentioned today. 

1    1.Face the Truth – Admit you have a problem.  She tells us to say it out loud.  Tell it to God, admit it to yourself or maybe tell a friend.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.  James 5:16

2. Don’t have unrealistic expectations.  Your habits, your waist-line, your bank account, etc did not happen overnight and change is not going happen overnight.  Be realistic when setting your goals.  “We are responsible to follow God’s expectations of us, not everyone else’s.”

3.    Stop Complaining.  Complaning drains your energy (and the energy of everyone around you.)  Complaining keeps us from making progress.

4.    Be Aggressive.  Don’t procrastinate.   Just do it and do it now!

5.    Find a solution to obstacles.  “We can find a solution to most problems if we truly want to.”   (EEwww, toe stomper, maybe in step 1, we need to decide if we truly want to make a change or if we are ok with the things as they are.)

 Now I am going give you some steps Tracie Miles gave last week in Chapter 11 of Stressed – Less Living because even if you are not doing that study, you can relate to stress.  I know stress has played a big part in the decisions I’ve made (and not all of them were the most responsible choices).   When I chose to learn how to make good habits & break bad habits, I was looking for a way to reset.  I wanted to get rid of the old and put on the new.   I want to be the woman God intended.

The Reset Button

1    1. Realign your life.  Is your life aligned with the Word of God?  Ask God to show you where changes need to be made.  Read Psalm 119:105

2.    Recognize your need.  God never meant for us to be self-sufficient.  Dependable – Yes, Responsible – Yes, Confident – Yes but Self Sufficeint – No.  Allow God to be your strength & deliverer.  When I am Weak, He is Strong!  Read Psalm 79:8b

3.    Adjust your focus.  We have discussed focus here before.  Where our mind is, is where our heart is.  When we focus on our circumstances instead of trusting on God, we become overwhelmed with worry & fear.  We must allow God to fill our hearts with his peace.  Read Isaiah 40:28

4.    Be filled with the Spirit.  I love this – If you have asked God to fill you with the Holy Spirit and you have given him dominion over your life, you can be confident in knowing that he has filled you according to his purpose.  Read Galatians 5:16

5.    Be Faithful in your prayer life.  God answers prayers, in his way and in his timing.  But, if we fail to pray, he has nothing to act upon!!  Read Hebrews 4:16

6.    Believe God is who he says he is.  Here is another good quote – Unbelief puts our circumstances between us & and God; faith puts God between us and our circumstances.  If you are serious about “resetting” your life, then let God be God in your life.  Read Matthew 16:13-16

I believe in order to develop the habit of Responsibility, we need to be in God’s Word daily and we need to ask ourselves-“what would Jesus do?”  How would today have been different if EVERY decision you made today was made after asking “What Would Jesus Do?”

 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  James 1:5

Father God, you have given us lots of responsibilities but we know that we don't have to carry these responsibilities alone.  You are with us.  Help us stop & ask ourselves "what would you do?"  Thank you for bringing us together to learn from, to share our experiences and to pray for each other.  Thank you for loving us so.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Now with regards to Exercise, let’s stop these common excuses.   (I got these from Lauren Conrad.  laurenconrad.com/blog/post/shape-up-how-to-stop-making-excuses-fit-tip-exercise-gym-allison-norton-june-2013 

Excuse #1: I don’t have time.
For all the ladies out there who have packed their schedules to the brim, I’m sure you’ve found yourself saying the excuse that you just don’t have enough time for exercise. The truth of the matter is that if something is a priority, you will make time for it. You don’t have to set aside a three-hour window just to break a sweat. A 30-minute run is a great way to get cardio in when you don’t have much time to spare. If you have an extra busy day, try doing some yoga poses in your bedroom before getting ready for work or taking a walk during your lunch break. It can even be as simple as doing 50 jumping jacks in place, then doing 50 crunches. Every little bit counts, and making the time for exercise will get your mind back in gear.

Excuse #2: My gym is too far.

While the gym you belong to may not be right down the street, there is no reason to let that get in the way of you getting in shape. On those days that you can’t squeeze in driving to the gym, try following a workout DVD instead. Also, since it’s finally summertime and the weather is nice (nicer than snowy winters at least!), take advantage of working out outdoors. Lace up and go for a run, a hike, or even a nice long walk in your neighborhood. Then, the next time you do have time to go to the gym, make sure you put in the effort to get there so you don’t get in the habit of being lazy.

Excuse #3: I don’t know how to begin.
For some people, working out may seem overwhelming: “running is hard, yoga is painful, spinning is intimidating!” If these thoughts creep up whenever you think about exercising, now might be the time to face your fears. Exercising and eating healthy will prolong your life, prevent disease, and boost your mood (not to mention give you a fabulous figure). So there is no reason to avoid your gym shoes any longer. If you feel uncomfortable with certain workouts, ease into them and let yourself get familiar with which ones you like best. If you have never been a runner but you want to tone your legs, start going on run-walks where you alternate between one minute of walking and three minutes of jogging. Grabbing a friend and heading to a yoga class, a spinning sesh, or taking a hike is also a great way to boost your cardio confidence. No matter how you choose to get past this barrier, I promise you will be happier once you do!

Love you ladies!!  

Until next week,
Melanie

Chapter 11 – Behavior 8 – The Habit of Being Responsible - Traits of a Responsible Person

I've always been a pretty responsible person. I've always paid my bils on time, passed my classes and made it to work on time. In college I did these things but still was irresponsible with my life. I'd drink every night, smoke, party, and sleep with boys. But I still felt like I was a responsible person because outwardly I had all my ducks in a row.

Fast forward to today. I can see how irresponsible I was. I didn't know God. I relied completely on myself. I know I cannot do that today. With three little girls that I'm responsible for I need to be on the top of my game and the only way I can do that is to be a Can Do kid of the one true King. I'm much more responsible today, but I still do irresponsible actions. For example, while trying to lose weight I had ice cream three times last week. Or I haven't exercised in two weeks because their is just too much other stuff going on is my excuse.

I know I need to be more responsible. I need to take my weight loss journey a little more seriously. I've changed my eating habits drastically and that change has lasted. I now need to spend the next 21 days changing my exercise habits. So let's see what Joyce has to say are traits of a responsible person.

So the first thing Joyce says to do is face the truth. I think I just did that. I know i won't lose weight without exercising. I know I need to get better about making it a priority. I also know that I can integrate it into play with my kids. So I know I need to go out to the park with them and run around.

The second thing is don't have unrealistic expectations. I know in this stage of my life saying I'll exercise five days a week is impossible. It will just stress me out when I don't make it. It will have me in a tail spin because  I didn't make my goal. A more realistic goal is three days a week. I know I can handle this.

The third trait she states is to stop complaining. This goes back to some of our previous habits. If you continue negative talk all you'll think of is negative. There are many things I don't want to do or are hard but yet I do them every day without complaint. One example is what I like to call arsenic hour. The hour right before dinner when my husband is late from work and I'm trying to cook dinner all while three little girls melt down at my feet. I usually want to give up cooking a nice meal and go for fast food or order pizza, but instead I cook without complaint and get it done and my family is so much happier for it.

The fourth trait Joyce states is to be aggressive. I really wish I could take this one to heart. She wants use to complete the task we like the least first thing in the day. This way we don't have time to complain about it or over think it too much. Again in my stage of life exercising in the morning isn't happening. I'm already up at six to get my quiet time in before the girls wake up. Any noise and they wake up earlier.

The last thing Joyce says is to find a solution for the obstacles. I know every day won't be easy to go exercise. Some nights we get little sleep because the girls keep waking up. Some days my husband is late home from work. Sometimes you get to the gym and all the machines are full or there isn't a lane in the pool. Just yesterday I wanted to go to the gym but Brianna had a fevor of 102.5 so instead I had to take care of a sick child. So what do you do? I pray. I let God know I want to do this for his glory. I let him know I'm here and here is my problem. He usually gives me a creative way to exercise. Like yesterday it was helping my husband attach a hitch onto his car and wire it up. Lots of lifting, squatting and crawling. Today hopefully it will be a walk with the family.

I think these five traits are something that most of us know, but don't always apply. Sometimes it is easy to complain as it seems everyone else is doing it so why shouldn't I join in. Sometimes we look at another woman and say she can make it to the gym seven days a week why can't I without truly knowing all that she has in her life. Maybe she is giving up a relationship to workout. Maybe she doesn't spend her time with God. My one take away from the book "Stressed Less Living" that I think also applies right here to being a responsible person is "If you are too busy to spend time with God, you are too busy". God should be your number one priority and everything else will fall into place.

Dear God, please help us all to become responsible people. Please help us to set realistic goals.  Please help us to quit complaining and just complete what we set out to do. Please let us come up with creative solutions to all our obstacles to achieve what we set out to do. I know I cannot lose weight without you. Thank you for all the changes you've helped me make in the past and all those that will occur in the future. In Jesus name. Amen.

The Habit of being Responsible - Integrity

 Integrity is defined as “the following of moral or ethical principles, and doing the same as what you say.” 

People with integrity are those who take responsibility for their actions. These people do not make excuses to get out of commitments, they keep them.  Essentially, they keep their word, doing what they say they are going to do and doing something because it is right and not beneficial to them. Yup that is difficult and a big pill to swallow…doing something that is right and not beneficial…

Samuel was a man of integrity. When his sons were taking bribes and corrupting justice the people did not want Samuel’s family to lead them and begged for a king. Samuel stayed true. Even though becoming King would have benefited him and his family, Samuel knew God would give them a king, so he did not stand in the way.

Integrity seems like a might big word, however the bible tells us:

In Psalm 25:21 “May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.”

In Proverbs 10:9 we read “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.”

In Proverbs 11:3 “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.”

Do you keep every commitment? Are you keeping your word? Are you doing what is right? Even when no one is looking?

Dear Abba,

I thank you for being the loving, forgiving, merciful father! Abba, show us any area that lacks integrity and give us the wisdom to make the changes and the right choices that will make us responsible women of integrity.

Amen

CHAPTER ,Behavior 8: Sections 1, The Habit of Being Responsible

"Ninety-nine percent of all failure comes from people who have a habit of making excuses."

 ~George Washington Carver

Sometimes, I just want to yell, STOP! STOP STEPPING ON MY TOES AND LET ME BE!

  

If God were to listen to me where would I be! Where would I be and who would I be if God let me have my way and let me BE!   Is that what love does? Or Does Love passionately pursue, speaking loudly!  LISTEN!   I have something good for you if you will just listen!

The Habit of being responsible, oh boy! I thought I was doing well. I consider myself to be a good person, reasonably responsible. I must admit after reading Joyce's description of a responsible person I have some work to do.  You see on most fronts I do well.   Sometimes though with bills and exercise I tend to make excuses, especially if it going to cause me to miss out on something or be uncomfortable.  I pay my bills, but according to Joyce I am suppose to plan ahead for the bad times, who is able to do that? We have been a week to week family for years and God forbid an emergency comes up we are screwed.  So now I reflect back and I think about all the times I ate out or went to the movies I probably should have been happy with just staying home.  But is staying home enjoying my life and living to the  fullest? So what is the deal? Why can't I have it all? What can't I be one of those who can get all the bills paid, be skinny , have friends, save money and be successful! This is life I have always wanted!  Putting myself under the microscope. Am I not the person I want to be because I made excuses or am making excuses? 

Be Brave, Look under the microscope and see if your current  circumstances are because you are not being a responsible person!

self-ex·am·i·na·tion (slfg-zm-nshn)

n.

1. An introspective consideration of one's own thoughts or emotions.

re·spon·si·ble  

/riˈspänsəbəl/

Adjective

1. Having an obligation to do something as part of a job or role.
2. Being the primary cause of something and so able to be blamed or credited for it.

Focus Scripture:

(John 8: 32)

32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

Pasted from <http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+8%3A32&version=KJV> 

 Prayer:

Lord, help us deal with the hard stuff in our life and not run from it! It is so much easier to run! Help us be strong in you and to know that when we are weak you truly strong in us! That you will fight with us and for us! Lord help us to be Responsible people with our finances and with our relationships, and even our relationship with our selves.

P.S. My life has hit a pump in the road, a pump I did not create. My husband last lost his last Monday and to be honest my future is in question. I am believing God to provide for my needs. Truthfully I do not know what the next few weeks or months hold for me. Would you believe in prayer with me that God would open up the right opportunity for my husband. ~Thanks!~

In Jesus Name, Amen!

Chapter 10 Recap

The Habit of Excellence

Excellence is:

...doing the very best you can

...not being perfect

...a habit, not an act

...a habit that requires practice and perseverance

Does this match your definition of excellence?  Doing our very best time after time is what counts.  Growing is making progress. Excellence will stretch us and push us past our comfort zones.  

"Do your best and trust God to do the rest"

Help Yourself

Excellence is in the mind of the beholder.  So, how do we set our mind on excellence?  By verbally confessing that we do excellent work, speak excellent words, and think excellent thoughts.  It may not be comfortable but good habits are developed through repetition.  Break the habit of mediocrity by making the right choice.  This will give us the power to change the image of ourselves.

Do Your Best for God

Why do we want to develop excellence?  For ourselves or to bring God glory?  What are our motives?  We will never get to what we want to be unless we truthfully admit where we are right now.   Our desire, our motivation should be to represent His will on earth.  It should not matter what others do or why they do it.  We should never be satisfied to be like everyone else.  Instead we should strive to be the most excellent we can be and do the best we can for God and His glory.

The Rewards of Excellence

Perfection is impossible, excellence is achievable.  God wants us to live life to the fullest, not settling for anything less than the best.  We need to give up the busyness and let go the fears that keep us from enjoying the peace that living a life of excellence will bring.  As we strive for excellence, we gain confidence that we are doing what God would want us to do. Then excellence will become a part of us and we will bear fruit as we do our best for God.

Excellence in Our Thoughts

It is also impossible to become an excellent person if we don't develop an excellent mind. 

Proverbs 23:7 reminds us "For as he thinks within himself, so he is".  Excellence starts on the inside and works it's way out.  We become what we allow our thoughts to be.  Don't allow satan to hijack your thoughts and use your mind as his personal dumping ground!  We control our minds, unless we surrender control to the enemy.  Do not surrender!  Be committed to strive for excellence thoughts and an excellent mind.

Excellence in Our Speech

"Just as we can direct our thoughts, we can also direct our words" - JM

Do our words carry encouragement or discouragement?  Our words have power to cause pleasure or pain.  It is important to choose our words carefully.  To be aware of their effect.  We need to strive to control first our thoughts, then our words.  This is integral in our battle for excellence.  Make the commitment to say nothing if you can't say something worth saying.  Change your words and your life will change.

Treat People With Excellence

Love is the most excellent way to live.  We need to treat others as God treats us.  If we aren't, then we don't know enough about His love.  Love is reflected in our behavior, when we make the decision to believe the best of every one in every situation.  Then our actions and our treatment of others becomes a reflection of Christ's love for us.

thoughts:  

The enemy would love nothing better than to see us settle for mediocrity, to take the easy way out.  Striving for excellence is a battle.  A battle we can win and each victory brings sweet rewards.

1 John 5:4 declares:  "For EVERY child of God defeats this evil world and we achieve this victory through faith."

That means we are the ultimate champions, conquerors over the enemy.  WE can override and supersede anything satan throws at us to keep us from excellence!  Doesn't that excite you?  We CAN win the battle for excellence!

Father,

Thank you for giving us the ability to defeat the evil of this world and have victory in our lives as we strive to develop the habit of excellence. Remind us to verbally confess our excellence thus strengthening ourselves through repetition.  May we always do our very best for you, O Lord and be aware of our motives as we practice excellence.  Thank you for the peace and confidence that being excellent brings.  Show us when our thoughts very off in the wrong direction, taking our words and our excellence with them.  Return our thoughts to You dear Lord and let us speak only those words that are uplifting, encouraging and bring pleasure instead of pain.  Teach us to treat others with excellence and love them as You love us.  Thank you for the amazing way You love us.  In your precious name we pray, So be it!

Prayers and Praises

It's Prayers and Praises time!!!

 WOW...what an amazing week this has been!!!  My VERY favorite week of the entire year-  Vacation BIBLE School at our church!!  Our local newspaper did a story about our VBS and they called us, "the Disney Land of Vacation BIBLE Schools", which pretty much sums it up!!!  Our children's pastor goes all out with decorations, with all the bells and whistles to keep over 700 (YES, 700) children engaged and learning about having a personal relationship with JESUS!!  I am honored to be a part of the leadership team and had one of the teaching stations, so I was lucky enough to see about half of the kids come through and teach them a BIBLE lesson. 

Now, I have to rewind the clock to this time last week.  Ol' smutty face, aka the enemy, knew that he didn't want me to be a part of VBS this year, and he came at me with everything he had.  It just about did me in, but thanks to one VERY amazing sister that GOD has blessed me with, she was able to help me see where the attack was coming from and prayed over me.  By Monday I was once again ready to pick up my cross and follow HIM, doing what HE had called me to do-  Teach at VBS!!!  You see, I had all this wonderful BIBLE teaching planned out for my students that I was going to impart on them!

OH how wrong I was!!!  Yes, I DID do my BIBLE teaching, BUT sisters, I was the one that was blessed beyond measure.  I was the one that GOD was talking to with each and every lesson.  Our theme, Kingdom Rock Where Kids Stand Strong for GOD taught me more than I could even begin to tell you.  GOD reassured  me this week through my lessons to all of our kids that HIS love covers everything, that I AM his daughter that HE loves beyond measure, and that NOTHING can ever separate me from that love!!!  As I reflect on this last week, I am SO thankful for the opportunity to be a part of this amazing ministry at my church, I am SO thankful for my sisters in CHRIST and especially the one angel that GOD put in front of me last week.  I am SO thankful that GOD, ever so gently brings us back to HIM when we feel like we're at the end of our rope and ready to throw in the towel. 

The habit of excellence....  GOD wants our best; HE wants our excellence!!  HE wants our all!!!  I can honestly say I LOVE HIM more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow!!!  Post your prayer requests so we can pray with and for you AND, post your praises so we can celebrate the amazing things GOD is doing!!! 

GOD is SO faithful!!! 
BE BLESSED IN HIM,
Kendra

Chapter 10 - Behavior 7 - The Habit of Excellence - Treat People With Excellence

Treat People With Excellence

God sure does have a sense of humor!  This section was directed squarely at me.  Then I realized it was  assigned to me. lol  When Joyce talks about how she use to act, I can totally relate.  I was a legalistic know-it-all.  I thought myself above others.  I was always right.  It had better be all about me, it was my way or the highway.  Mercy and grace were not part of my vocabulary.  I was judgmental and critical of others.  My poor family bore the brunt of most of it.  The sad thing was I professed to be a Christian.  I always said I would let my life be my witness.  What a horrible witness!  My behavior must have made God very sad.  Unfortunately it took devastating event in my life before He got my attention.  I stood to loose everything important because I failed to treat others with excellence.

God's timing is spot on too.  This week I was listening to Joyce speak about love and how we should treat others.   Joyce said until we treat people the way God treats us, we don't know enough about love. I sure didn't know the first thing about love. I still struggle with this.  1 Corinthians 12:31 tells us love is the most excellent way to live.

When we walk in love, we learn to believe the best of every person in every situation.  That's a tall order!  But we can do it. We develop what we focus on so focus on love. We stop making it all about us and shift our focus to God's love for us and loving others.  This doesn't mean some people some of the times or those that are easy to love.  It means every one we come in contact with, whenever & wherever.  We treat everyone with respect and dignity, making them feel valuable and appreciated.  And it starts at home.  Too often the ones we love the most get treated the worst.  I know I was guilty of that for years. Let's start today, let's start with our loved ones and treat them with excellence.  What a legacy our lives will leave if we do.

Father, I come before you today knowing I have not treated others with excellence.   Help us begin today in our own homes and spread Your love outward from there.  Show us when we fail to treat other as You treat us.  I pray that Your love will fill our hearts and over to all those around us continually.  Lord, I know I struggle with this but with Your strength each of us can develop the habit of treating everyone with excellence and bring your honor and glory.  We love you Father and thank you for Your love for us.  In Jesus precious name, Amen!

Chapter 10 - Behavior 7 - The Habit of Excellence - Excellence in Thoughts and Speech

Excellence in our Thoughts

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.      Philippians 4:8

 

In past chapters we have talked about our thoughts and our words; in fact throughout our lives we find ourselves talking about our thoughts and our words.  We KNOW what negative thoughts and words do to us, to our lives, to our health ~ yet we continue to allow them to enter into every part of our lives.

Joyce tells us that we can never become excellent in our actions if we don't first make a commitment to become excellent in our thoughts. - there's that word again - commitment!  Anything and Everything worthwhile requires a commitment!   In Philippians 4:8, we are told to think about those things that are pure, lovely commendable, those things worthy of praise ~ to keep our minds focused on the honorable.    Proverbs 23:7 says :  For as he thinks within himself, so he is.   WOW!   Not sure about you ladies, but I want to be a positive, upbeat, smiling, happy person!  I want to walk around with a good attitude in all things.  Negativity exhausts me........whether I'm having a bad day and its coming from me or whether it's coming from someone else.....it's just not good for me - my brain just feels like it's going to explode and shuts down.  Am I the only one or are you like that as well?

Joyce tells us that wrong thoughts can poison our lives and our attitudes,  and since our thoughts are the forerunner to all of our words and actions, we MUST deal with them first.   No one controls our thinking ~ our thoughts are our own. The devil attempts to hijack our thoughts on a regular basis - pretty continuously some days, right?  Joyce tells us to NOT allow the devil to use your mind as a garbage dump or you will 'end up with a stinking mess of a life'.  I get that!  How about you?

As many of you know I have struggled with my weight all my life.  I have lost and gained the same 100 lbs. more times than I care to count. I allow myself to believe negative thoughts about myself; thoughts clearly coming direct from 1-800- Satan.  Earlier in my life it was that I would never be as skinny or pretty as the girls from school, that I just didn't come from the same 'cut of cloth' as most of them did, I just wasn't as good ~ so why bother even trying? However, somehow I gathered enough courage to lose the weight over and over and over. The issue was not losing it but rather that I kept gaining it back after losing it!  Four years ago I lost that 102 lbs. one more time - for the last time, I said!.... then once again life happened and issues cropped up that had me doubting me.  I just wasn't as attractive as other women, I didn't have the outgoing personality of other women - or I wasn't strong enough to stick to a healthy eating plan, the gym was no place for me.....you name it and the negative thoughts were there - entering the places that were most important to me - like my marriage.   It hit hard, hard enough so that I gained every ounce of those 102 lbs. back.  Satan won that battle ~ and all he had to get a hold of was my mind!  Doesn't sound like much does it?  just our 'minds'?!   But think about how powerful our minds are.  Think about the power they have over us.  Our minds CAN control us, if we allow it, and we DO allow it - more times than not.  What do you choose?   ME?  Well, I choose to believe I can fly - that I can do anything!   I strive for EXCELLENCE!

One thing we know our minds control is our speech.  Joyce says "Just as we can direct our thoughts, we can also direct our words" with God's help.   Proverbs 18:21 says "The Power of life and death are in the tongue and we eat the fruit of them".  Like our thoughts, our words are just as powerful.  Words can make you laugh, can make you cry, can bring encouragement and inspiration to others, words can witness to Jesus Christ!  Powerful!    Words can cause pleasure or pain.  How many days have you had a bad day, been in traffic going home (that added to that bad day at work), and then walked directly into your house and snapped at one of your children? or your husband? I am guilty!  More times than I care to admit. 

Joyce tells us in this chapter that we have to think about our words, to choose them carefully, for they are 'containers for power'. We control whether that container carries encouragement or destruction. In order to control what that container contains, we have to think before we speak and control the thoughts of our minds.  This would require us to fight every negative thought coming in on that direct line from Satan.  It would require us to replace the negative with the positive.  To be aware. To strive for Excellence in the battle of words.

Scripture says, 'Even in the midst of trials, we must keep our tongue free from evil'  (1 Peter 3:10), in Proverbs 18:21 it says 'The power of life and death are in the tongue, and we eat the fruit of them'.   

  

All our lives we've heard our parents say, "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all" and Joyce reiterates that saying, "Make it a habit to say nothing if you cannot say something that is worth saying".   Yes, this is something we CAN control.

If we want to live a life of excellence, we must develop the habits of first controlling our thoughts and then controlling our words.  The two go hand and hand and affect more than just us - they affect our spouses, our families, our jobs, our goals.  Do you choose a life of excellency?

Below is a collage I put together that represents that last journey of  losing 102 lbs. It depicts the hard work, the fun, the accomplishments!  A journey that was one of the hardest things I ever faced in my life - but was able to achieve because I chose to keep my mind full of positive thoughts and I didn't allow negative thoughts or words to penetrate or affect my journey.  Many times I heard my husband or one of the kids say, you'll never be able to do "this" or you'll never be able to do "that".  That, my friends, is Satan. Do you have an experience or a journey that was an accomplishment? Something that you worked hard for and met goals for - a time when you chose to be aware of only those things that brought you encouragement?   Think back to that time ~ What was different?  What has brought you to a place that maybe today feels a little bit like defeat?  Chances are it's the thoughts you've allowed to take up residency in your mind ~ or the words you are allowing to affect your heart. Let's change that ~ starting now!  

Important Assignments for Today 

•  Purposely give someone a compliment today.  Tell us who and what!

• Purposely give someone some encouragement.  Tell us who you encouraged! and why?

• Keep your journal close by today.  Every time you get a negative thought in your mind, counteract by getting your pen and jotting down a positive replacement!   See how many times this happens today.  Continue this exercise daily as you build a GOOD habit to replace the bad! You will become aware of it happening and begin to automatically fix it s soon as you think it!  

 Now for the hard one!

•  Write a letter to yourself, as an outsider, and tell yourself about all of the awesome traits you love about yourself.  About how all the positive encouragement and great thoughts you give affect other's lives in great ways.

Example:   Dear Kelley,  Wow! I am so thankful for you - for being such an encouraging and inspirational person.   You work really hard to make people feel good about themselves and that is amazing! (ETC) 

We need to think the positive, believe the positive, share the positive!  Start with yourself today. 

Strive for Excellence!

Prayer:

Dear God,
Thank you for continued blessings, for each other, and for 2nd, 3rd, and 4th chances to get it right.  Father, we pray today that you will work with us to get this right - to rid our minds of those things that are negative and degrading and replace them with the positive! Father, may we strive for excellence as we work hard every day to become more and more like you.  Continue to mold us and make us into the women you desire us to be.  We love you and worship you.  Amen.

In God's Holy Light,

<3  Kelley

Chapter 10 - Behavior 7 - The Rewards of Excellence

  

Ok, time to be honest.....I have struggled to write this week.  Not because I don't believe there is a reward for excellence.  I do believe God rewards excellence.  I know that peace Joyce spoke of - that feeling when you know you did the right thing and to the best of your ability.   Or maybe I know the guilt you feel when you didn't quite give it your all.  

As I have a mentioned before, I am a procrastinator.   One of the biggest reasons is because of my desire for perfection.  I am very guilty of putting unrealistic expectations on myself.   Luckily, God does not call us to be perfect.  Perfection is impossible for us in this life.

 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

I believe God wants us to live life to the fullest – I am talking Life with a capital "L".  Not settling for anything less than the best.  To fully strive for living a life of excellence. 

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.  John 10:10

One of the books I love is One Thousand Gifts, Finding Joy in What Really Matters by Ann Voskamp.  It seems that in life’s busyness we often overlook the joy found in the things that really matter.  We overlook the beauty in the simplicity of life around us.  We often go through life on such a fast pace - going & doing but not truly living.  We say yes to everyone & everything until we hit a brick wall.  I am guilty of overextending myself to the point that I can't do everything or anything with any real excellence.  Linda Kuhar is a Christian Life Coach who is doing the Stressed Less Living bible study on Melissa Taylor’s website.  Her blog-hop post on June 13, 2013 was about Excellence.  Excellence is one of her core values but she had reached her breaking point.  She talks about realizing she needed time to get back to the basics.  (Check out her blog at www.lindakuhar.com)

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’  Matthew 25:21

My deepest desire is truly to hear these words when I arrive at heaven’s gate.  (I have determined this week as thinking about this post that my love language is definitely words of affirmation.)  My fear of failure, my fear of not being perfect, my fear of not being worthy, has held me back.  The fear of not hearing these words has stopped me dead in my tracks.  It has prevented the deep, sincere relationship with God that I truly desire.  It sounds silly to me as I type this to think that by not doing or holding back until the last minute and hurrying through a task, I thought something would change or go un-noticed.  Kind of crazy thinking.  I know when I procrastinate on a task that has to be done,  I am like a crazy lady trying to get it done and don't get in the way.  It is not pretty. (Please don't ask my family, just take my word on that.)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:21-24

So as I read the section in the book this week, I thought about the peace Joyce described and I thought of the fruits of the spirit found in Galatians.  When we learn to live in the Holy Spirit, listening and responding to His promptings, I believe excellence will become a part of who we are and we will bear fruit.   The joy, the peace, the love….all of them will be ours when we learn to live in Jesus, fully dependent on Him.

 “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:4-5

So to me, as a Christian, the habit of excellence is fully developed when we fully live out our faith, fully dependent and maturing in our relationship with Christ.  A mature, sincere & deep relationship with Christ .... now that truly is the reward of excellence!!

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷ Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.  Romans 8:16-17
 

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people,  because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.  And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.  Ephesians 6:7-9

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, ²⁴ since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.   Colossian 3:23-25
 

Father God, I so thank you for loving us.  I know you truly want us to live life to the fullest, not a life based on this world’s views but a life full of the Spirit.  Forgive me for allowing fear and unrealistic expectations hold me back from the life you desire for me.  Forgive me for allowing these fears to hold me back from a real relationship with you.  Father thank you for being patient with me each day, always with me each step of the way.  Be with each woman here as we learn to live the habit of excellence.  Father may everything we do be done with excellence and thanksgiving.  May all we do and say bring honor & glory to You.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Until next week!

Much love,
Melanie